Wythering Pond, which disappeared nearly a week ago and was subject to a
ransom demand of £150,000, has been found in a toilet.
Two
men, aged 21 and 19, have been taken into custody and charged with unlawful
abduction and wilful damage to a small wooden building.
The missing body of water was recovered during a dawn raid by Froghill
police on an address in Swansdike this morning. The pond had been almost
completely drained, rolled up into a tube and secured with elastic bands,
before being stuffed into a Happy Shopper bag and hidden in the toilet cistern.
The police response came after a tip-off from a resident in the same block of flats.
“I noticed water trickling down the stairs yesterday – it seemed to be
coming from the top floor flat,” said neighbour and part-time strippergram Reg
Fidgett. “What really aroused my suspicions was the strong smell of milfoil in
the air, as well as the deposits of silt and traces of duck excrement on the
stair carpet.”
In a bedroom at the same premises, police discovered 74 park benches, eight
sets of temporary traffic lights, two bus stops and a pedestrian crossing,
presumed to be the one stolen from Kidneystone Lane last October.
The pond is reported as being in a weakened but stable condition. It has
been taken to the Froghill Regional Aquatic Nurture, Treatment and Internment Centre
(FRANTIC) for refilling and for repairs to the duck house roof.
In the course of their investigations, police also found a discarded note
in a waste bin. It was dated December 24th and requested Santa Claus
to leave a hundred and fifty thousand pounds in used notes and a Dinky Toy
helicopter.
“Judging from the handwriting, it appears that we are dealing with people
of reduced maturity,” said Detective Inspector Alan ‘The Hammer’ Hardman.
“Everyone over the age of nine knows that Santa Claus hardly ever
delivers cash and certainly never in used notes.”
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