FOR SALE
Hen’s teeth.
V rare. Various lengths, some molars. Could make
into necklace or clichéd idiom about scarcity. £10 per tooth. G. Peck, phone 0159
2993.
Can of
Worms. Unopened. £5 ono. Phone V. Wriggley on 0372 59241.
Whale Blubber. 2,500 kilos. White, finest quality, very
oily. Ideal for lamp fuel or annoying environmentalists. Capt. Ahab, phone 0372
58859.
Acne Cream. Just rub it in and bingo, you’ve got
acne! £30 per tube. S. Muldoon, phone 0161 4122.
Gantry Crane. 21 feet high, 10-ton payload, lateral movement
system, rubber tyres, sunroof. MOT until Feb ’20. Unwanted birthday gift. Offers? Stan,
phone 0165 8341.
Rubber bung. As new. Will fit aperture
of ¾ inch diameter. £17,500 or would consider swap for late-1960s Jaguar E Type convertible. 0165 8935,
after 2 am.
Teapot. Earthenware, brown. Some stains. Handle, lid and spout missing, hence
low price of £25.
Phone 0372 54321.
Bootleg recording. ‘Kim
Jong Un, Live in Las Vegas’. Songs include Rocket
Man, My Way, The Final Countdown and Donald,
Where’s Your Troosers? Phone 0165 8297.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Lost: my virginity, somewhere in the Catchpenny Road area, last Saturday
afternoon. Anyone finding it please phone 0372 57316 and ask for the Mother
Superior.
The mind boggles. Mine does, anyway. How about yours? Why not call me and compare notes? N. Bonaparte, phone 0161 4724.
Are you methodical? Then let’s get together and let’s get organized. Sister
Mattick, phone 0159 2759.
Jesus, are you coming back? If so, I have your wallet. Call me. Matthew, 0372
59417.
More information needed!!
ReplyDeleteUnless on knows the the size and capacity ( by this I mean how much water it can safely hold) how can one possibly ascertain if the teapot is "value for money" or not?? As something of an expert in this field, I would be perfectly willing to pay £20, but £25????. I think not.