NO IFS AND A BUTT - CORPORAL IN PEAK CONDITION

A Cheetingham man is to make a solo ascent of Everest for charity later this month.

Corporal Kevin Baldock, 27, of the Royal Tank Regiment, will attempt to scale the 29,000-foot peak on a pair of aluminium stilts. He will be raising money for The Woebegone Aspect Trust (TWAT), an organisation offering cosmetic surgery to bulldogs with self-esteem issues.

As regular readers will know, Cpl. Baldock is no stranger to feats of derring-do. Earlier this year, he successfully crossed the Sahara dressed as Donald Duck, in support of a charity promoting education at gunpoint. In May of last year, he swam the English Channel in a suit of armour, with all proceeds going to The Donkey Sanctuary.

Sponsorship will be provided by Wythering nursery Ladie Garden, which has presented Cpl. Baldock with a 210-litre plastic water butt, bearing the slogan: ‘Ladie Garden – come and see what we’ve got in our furrow’.

Nursery proprietor Sadie Ladie told the Observer: “I read about Kevin’s last exploit in your pages and was very impressed by his sense of originality.

“We're more than proud to sponsor him. He’s promised to plant one of our seedlings when he reaches the summit, to commemorate the event.” 

Asked how he saw himself coping with the sub-zero conditions on Everest’s slopes, the courageous corporal answered: “The stilts I’m using are over four metres long and should elevate me above the surface of the snow so, hopefully, frostbite won’t be a problem.

“Obviously, wearing the water butt is going to hamper my movements a bit. But, on the plus side, I hit upon the idea of packing it with the thermal cladding from my Mum’s immersion heater.

“So that ought to keep me warm when the going gets chilly.”