An unexpected sight awaited Wythering resident Roy Barrowman as he opened
the curtains yesterday morning. For there, smack in the middle of his front
lawn, was a large chunk of metal with his name written across it.
“I’m pretty certain it wasn’t there when I went to bed on Friday
“So you can imagine my surprise when I looked out of the window to see
this great grey thing with the letters ROY on it, sticking out of the front garden.
“Now I did think I heard a thud during the night,” he said, “but I put it
down to a dream I was having about anvils.”
Unsure what to do about the situation, Roy phoned the police who, in
turn, appealed to the Froghill Institute for Social History for assistance.
“It’s not really my area of expertise,” said FISH head Dr. Crispin
Mortlake after an examination of the 10-by-16-foot metal sheet, “but judging by
its thickness, colour and the presence of rivets, I would suggest that it’s a
piece of a ship.
“Moreover, given that the three stenciled letters almost certainly form part
of a longer word, I conclude that this is a fragment from the bow section of
HMS Ark Royal.
“The depth to which it penetrated the soil suggests that it must have
fallen from a considerable height,” Dr. Mortlake added.
“Mr. Barrowman is exceedingly lucky it didn’t land on his house.”
“Mr. Barrowman is exceedingly lucky it didn’t land on his house.”
Asked what he intended to do with the huge and unexpected addition to his
garden, the 79-year-old said he wasn’t yet sure.
“I’m not yet sure,” he said, “though I might turn it into a water
feature. After all, it’s got my name on it and no-one else in the street has one.
“But that’s not my main worry at the moment,” said Roy, “because the cat
didn’t come home yesterday and I can’t think where he might have got to.
“The last time I remember seeing him was the night before last, when he
was out on the front lawn, playing with one of my old surgical supports.”
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