Sir,
Two weeks
ago, I found a pair of kidneys while visiting the Ladies’ in Everdene Road.
They were lying on the floor in one of the cubicles. I imagine their owner must
have had an unusually explosive evacuation and then forgotten to reinsert them
before leaving.
Having no
hormonal teenage sons to worry about, I took the kidneys home and put them in a
jam jar. I have set a piece of steak beside them, as I understand the two go quite
well together.
Concerned for
their owner, I contacted Froghill police. They informed me that although they’d
received reports of a pair of mislaid ears in a cornfield and a spleen in a
vent at the Buried Treasures Funeral Directors, nobody had reported losing any kidneys.
If you
mislaid your kidneys around the middle of last month, please contact me, as I'm
sure life without them must be really quite ‘offal’. My email address is katy@frogmail.com.
Yours
faithfully,
Kate N.
Sydney-Pye,
Swansdike
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