GHOST COW IN CAR CRASH CONUNDRUM

A car accident which occurred in the small hours of this morning was caused by a ghost, according to the driver.

Perry Birtles, of Eiderdown Lane, Wythering, was on his way home from a worm racing party when his car went off the road and collided with one the gateposts outside Fanshawe House. No other vehicles were involved.

Mr. Birtles sustained minor injuries and was taken to Froghill General for treatment. He was later released.

“I was driving along Wythering Road at around 2am,” the 28-year-old told the Observer, “when this large, white shape floated across the road in front of me. I slammed on the brakes sharpish, the car skidded and crashed into the gatepost.”

According to Mr. Birtles, the apparition was the size of a large cow, fluffy in appearance and had a long tether trailing from its neck.

“It was making this high-pitched, repetitive, squeaking noise, like somebody rubbing their finger on the surface of a balloon.

“Makes my blood run cold just thinking about it,” said Mr. Birtles.

The accident comes just days after unconfirmed reports of a shadowy figure making its way across Wythering Road at dusk. The figure is described as wearing a long coat, ‘a sort of wizard’s hat’ and playing some form of wind instrument.