Thursday, May 23, 2019

DOLLY THE SHEEP FOUND BY ‘SHEAR’ CHANCE

Dexter Oddbin, who has been missing from the Swansdike Institute for Care and Kindness since May 9th, has been found alive and well.

The 24-year-old, who suffers from the persistent belief that he is Dolly the Sheep, was discovered in a field at Rayling’s Farm yesterday afternoon.

“I was out tending the flocks down in Ebbet’s Field and I saw one sheep that looked a bit odd,” said Stephen Rayling, “her coat was all long and straggly, which was strange, as we’d finished all the shearing by the beginning of this month.

“So, seeing as how I weren’t that busy, I decided I’d give her a quick trim. Imagine my surprise when a voice shouts out ‘Ow, that hurt!’ just as I went in for the second pass with the clippers. Turns out it wasn’t a ewe at all, it was a bloke dressed in three Arran sweaters!”

Mr. Rayling alerted the authorities and Oddbin was taken to Froghill police station while he awaited staff from SICK to come and take him back to his ward.

“He was confused and incoherent,” said Sergeant Harry Parsnip, “when we asked what had happened to the three bags of wool he’d had with him, he muttered something about his master, his dame and some little boy or other.

“I couldn’t make head nor tail of it.”

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