Thursday, April 25, 2019

MAN ‘COMFORTABLE’ AFTER BLUEBELL ATTACK

A Cheetingham man is said to be ‘comfortable’ today after suffering a bluebell attack on Traubert’s Heath. Melvin Penrose, of Bessels Close, was walking with his wife Maureen yesterday afternoon when the attack took place.

“We were picking some flowers to put in the vase Auntie Vi gave us for our anniversary,” said a visibly distressed Maureen. “We’d already got some primroses and thought that a few bluebells would make a nice contrast.

“As Melvin bent down to snap off a couple of stems, the whole lot of them suddenly lunged at him. I didn’t know what to do. There were about a hundred of them and they were all growling and snarling.

“I was petrified.”

Luckily for Mrs. Penrose, a passing dog walker noticed what was happening and intervened. Thrashing with his walking stick, he managed to beat off the floral assailants, though not before his dog had received a warning nip from several of the blooms.

Emergency services were called and were on the scene within minutes.

“When he was admitted, Mr. Penrose was covered in tiny blue bite marks and suffering from shock,” said Dr. Ruben Flowerdew of the Belligerent Flora Unit at Froghill General. “However, the paramedics alerted us ahead of time, so we were ready with the Anti-Bluebell Serum as soon as he was wheeled in.

“This is far from the first case of bluebell attack we’ve treated this spring. While they may look innocuous enough, these flowers can be extremely vicious. We urge members of the public to exercise caution when walking in heavily bluebelled areas and under no circumstances to consider picking them.”

“Bluebells will go for every exposed area of flesh they can find,” added Dr. Flowerdew, “Mr. Penrose is only fortunate that he didn’t choose that spot to answer the call of nature,”

Mr Penrose’s condition has now stabilised and he is expected to make a full and complete recovery.

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