The world’s first singing telegram was sent by Western Union back in 1933. In the following decades, the novelty telegram craze spread and, by the 1970s, everything from a bar mitzvah to a birthday could be celebrated in song.
Now, Dolores and Daniella Chirrup, two enterprising sisters from Froghill,
have decided to tweak the conventional format and go into business as the
singers of bad tidings.
Their new company, A Spoonful Of Sugar, is all set to sweeten the news of
exam failures, redundancy, accidents or even murder through the medium of song.
“We came up with the idea after receiving a telegram when our hamster
died,” said Dolores. “It just seemed so matter-of-fact and impersonal. We
thought there must be a kinder way to do things.
“So we decided to set up an singing
telegram company. Our slogan is ‘We turn tragedy into melody’. We think
it’s quite catchy.”
Song prices vary, depending on the nature of the news
to be broken. The sisters will serenade you with a traffic fine for £25, a kidnapping
for £100 and a death in the family for £150. In the interests of taste and sensitivity,
all songs are set to familiar and comforting tunes.
So,
should the STD clinic choose A Spoonful
Of Sugar to bring your results, this variation on Scarborough Fair will greet you as you
open the door:
Remember your blood test
to check for the pox?
Well, we’re here to
deliver the shocks:
It’s a highly rare strain
of gonorrhea,
So it’s antibiotics and
lay off the beer.
If you’re looking for an original way to break bad news, A Spoonful Of
Sugar can be contacted on 0372 53281 or you can
visit their website, www.misfortuneful.co.uk.
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