BLOOMIN’ BRILLIANT! HENRY TAKES FIRST PRIZE

Monday’s regular pub quiz at the Nut Tree in Froghill has been won by a shrub.

Henry, an English Lavender belonging to Cheetingham businessman Alastair Rose, won by a comfortable margin to take the first prize of a bottle of whisky.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes.” said landlord Bill Blocker.

“This customer walked in with a lavender bush in a flowerpot, ordered a pint of bitter and a glass of water. He went to a table, sat down, took out a bottle of Baby Bio, splashed some into the water and poured it into the pot.

“Then he started whispering to the leaves.”

Stranger things were to happen when veteran quizmaster Des Pringle asked his first question. For not only did a small, clear voice immediately pipe up from the foliage beside Mr. Rose, but it got the answer right.

“I’ve had Henry since he was a seedling,” said 42-year-old Mr. Rose, in an exclusive interview with the Observer.

“On the day we got him, my wife and I were driving home from the garden centre when suddenly, this plaintive little voice said: ‘I’m thirsty!’ I nearly had the car off the road.”

As Henry grew, it became clear that not only could he talk, but also that he possessed an enquiring mind.

“People look askance when they see me going through the Periodic Table with a shrub in the front garden,” said Mr. Rose, “but, you know, Henry and I have had some fascinating conversations over the last couple of years. He’s particularly keen on philosophy.

“It was actually his idea to enter the quiz - he reckoned we’d be in with a chance.”

Following his success in the early rounds, Henry hit a run of bad luck as a string of questions left him dumbstruck.

“I was no good on football, Stephen King novels or Radio 2 disc jockeys,” said Henry, speaking for the first time during the interview, “and I lost the lead to old Ted Pickles as a result.

“But then things really started looking up for me. There was a question about the founder of RADA and another one about father and son American presidents.

“And the final question was a gift: name the actor who played Private Pike in Dad’s Army.

“I mean, after all, he’s a distant relative.”

Mr. Rose says that Henry’s winnings will be administered by watering can. Asked how he felt about taking home a litre bottle of Johnny Walker, Henry replied: “Obviously, I’m very pleased to have won and I’m looking forward to being watered.

“However, if truth be told, I would have been much happier with a bottle of Bushmills.”