Sir,
Three weeks ago, I found a pair of eyes while visiting the public
conveniences in Everdene Road. They had been left by the taps on the second
washbasin from the right. I imagine their owner had taken them out to give them
a rinse and then forgotten to replace them before leaving.
Concerned that their owner might be missing them, I contacted Froghill police.
They informed me that although they’d received numerous reports of mislaid body
parts, nobody had reported losing any eyes. I made a video of them which I uploaded
onto YouTube but, unfortunately, it garnered no views.
The eyes are hazel, flecked with brown and have their optic nerves attached.
I have been keeping them moist with regular applications of WD40 and have set
them in front of the TV so they don’t get bored.
If you are the person who mislaid your eyes in a toilet around the beginning of this month,
please contact me. I will be more than happy to return them to you. My email
address is beno@boohoo.com.
Yours faithfully,
Ben Okulaz,
Traubert’s Heath
Actually, I am in possession of a pair of ears, found in similar circumstances but in Shetland. Perhaps the two cases are related. Or just random examples of pre-Brexit panic surgery that may become endemic.
ReplyDeleteI see.
ReplyDelete